It’s Not Me, It’s You.

In every hero’s journey story, there comes a moment when the hero must face his nemesis. In star wars, luke faces his father. In batman it was his master. There’s something deeply symbolic about going back to face the fears, the place of your original growing and your original trauma, to do battle with your inner demons.

And just so we are on the same page, “trauma” doesn’t have to mean some big horrifying event; it can refer to anything that created a feeling of unsafety, mistrust or emotional pain where your nervous system created a strategic method around which to avoid feeling that in the future.

In my experience working with people, there’s nothing more triggering than being home with your family of origin, or living with a primary attachment partner aka, your romantic partner. Even a roommate or best friend can sometimes elicit these feelings.

It’s like stepping into a house of mirrors, that reflects the things you don’t want to see. It’s scratching at the wounds hidden beneath scar tissue. Except we mostly think the problem is with everybody else. It’s not me. It’s you. Or him. Or her. Or the world.

And there’s a deep opportunity here.

I know. I get tired of the “let’s transform our pain into gain” memes, too. Deal with it. I’m pretty sure this is what we’re here for. 🙂

Because, what if, by really turning our attention to the reflection, and paying attention to how our body responds in the moment, we could begin to shed some light on to how we are stuck in unconscious relationship patterns – with our work, our loved ones, and even our money! Hint: The feelings that show up in our body are the key that opens the door to our deeper truth.

There’s a bunch of neuroscience research to support this. And if you want to have a conversation about it, I’m happy to do that. But I’d rather just jump to the chase and help you start to see, soften, and then re-wire these patterns that are holding you back from where you want to be, and how you want to be feeling in your daily life!

You might even think about tackling this before the (insert dramatic music) impending holiday season. If any of this resonates with you, let’s talk. You can sign up for a free initial 30 minute phone session (just go to my website and click the “schedule appointment” button) or if we already know each other, go ahead and schedule a regular session!

I have a lot of deep affection and regard for how hard it sometimes feels to navigate the relationships in your life, including your relationship to yourself. I get it. I’m really looking forward to connecting when you’re ready.