Money. And Love.

This is about Money.  And Love.  As most things are…photo (1)

So it’s now the end of the money map program.  I intended to chronicle the process as it was underway.  I didn’t.  This is what I realized in the process.

I am super interested in the concept of this program and super avoidant, letting other things take precedence in the Money Map process.  I realize my relationship to money is like my relationship to many things I experience difficulty with.  Let’s take body discomfort, for example.  When we have an injury, or some kind of hurt we lean away from the pain, avoiding the injured place – like not doing a yoga pose because it’s hard to balance on a weak ankle or not doing sit-ups because our core feels weak.  (If we are talking about an actual injury, yes it makes sense to stay off of a broken ankle, but once it is on its way towards healing… do you work diligently to rebuild strength or do you default to your stronger side?)  In continually avoiding the hurt or discomfort, it becomes worse.  It doesn’t get the attention it deserves, because the initial attention is full of discomfort.

This has been my relationship with money.  I’ve been really most concerned with meeting my immediate needs, both emotionally and monetarily.  As I open myself up, and peer into the resistance and storylines in my head around money, I realize in changing the way I look at money, in investing in the longer term goals rather than focusing mostly on instant gratification, I may also be changing the way I meet my needs in love and relationship….

I started this program in the process of reconnecting to a 6 year relationship… Before the program ended (it’s only 2 weeks), I had realized that it fit a pattern that doesn’t fit me anymore and I let go.  Making the choice to lean into the discomfort around money from a self love space gave me the freedom and spaciousness to see what I want, and believe I can have it.  What do I mean by “from a self love space?” I genuinely love myself and want to care for my future, much like I imagine a loving parent does for their child.  So in looking at my relationship ~ because of what opened up for me in the Money Map process, my brain was already cued to come from a self love, “believe I can have it” model.  Even amidst the pain of letting go of someone I love, it felt like I was giving myself a gift that will continue to unfurl as time goes on… I guess you could say the Money Map program is like a gift that keeps on giving.

So where do I go from here? I continue to make choices from a place of deep regard for Self, rather than a place of need and immediate gratification.   I continue to move toward Thriving.  For those of you who know me, you may be saying… Um, Michelle… You lead a pretty freakin cushy life.  Yup.  There are parts of my life that rock.  AND there are parts that I want to be in more integrity with.  I am really excited that my Money Map number is not some crazy pie in the sky number.  In fact it’s pretty doable.  Wanna walk this path alongside me?  This is the link to Alexis Neely’s Eyes Wide Open Life site:

http://eyeswideopenlife.com/blog/author/alishanti/